The Jamaican Three Horned Bull Walrus

by LeechMaster on November 8, 2012

The Jamaican Three Horned Bull Walrus is uncommonly found in Jamaican rain forests next to springs. It is not a “natural” animal, and was created Jamaican geneticists that couldn’t make the local bobsledding team. The original goal was to create a perfect bobsledding animal, but the choice of three horns was not well thought through, and the beast would repeatedly become stuck in the sled tracks, causing many an unfortunate pile up. This is the source of the Jamaican phrase, “Ja Crap!”

The creature eats exotic plant life and only animals that are loved by PETA.  PETA held a protest against genetic science and this animal in Jamaica, but unfortunately the Bull Walrus ate all of the protesters.

Generally peaceful, its special power is bobsledding mastery, however it requires a special non-regulation track with side groves to accommodate its horns.

They can be located by the pungent smell of wet fur, and their gentle cooing sounds. They have been only known to eat humans that are involved in PETA, or walrus trainers that treat their pets poorly and wear green shirts, like this guy.

Leave a Comment

Previous post:

Next post: