From the category archives:

Creature Information

The Jamaican Three Horned Bull Walrus

by LeechMaster on November 8, 2012

The Jamaican Three Horned Bull Walrus is uncommonly found in Jamaican rain forests next to springs. It is not a “natural” animal, and was created Jamaican geneticists that couldn’t make the local bobsledding team. The original goal was to create a perfect bobsledding animal, but the choice of three horns was not well thought through, and the beast would repeatedly become stuck in the sled tracks, causing many an unfortunate pile up. This is the source of the Jamaican phrase, “Ja Crap!”

The creature eats exotic plant life and only animals that are loved by PETA.  PETA held a protest against genetic science and this animal in Jamaica, but unfortunately the Bull Walrus ate all of the protesters.

Generally peaceful, its special power is bobsledding mastery, however it requires a special non-regulation track with side groves to accommodate its horns.

They can be located by the pungent smell of wet fur, and their gentle cooing sounds. They have been only known to eat humans that are involved in PETA, or walrus trainers that treat their pets poorly and wear green shirts, like this guy.


The Jumping Deer Frog

by LeechMaster on October 29, 2012

The jumping deer frog inhabits swampy areas with lots of small animals  to snack on during the day. However, at night, it goes after bigger prey such as moose, bear, and people with a high body mass index.

It has a primary tongue for eating small prey, and a 15 foot secondary tongue with a paralytic venom tip used to stun larger prey.  Defying the laws of physics, the Deer Frog’s mouth is larger than it’s body and devours it’s prey in one gulp. Think frog on the outside, Tardis on the inside.

Height:  36 inches.

Length and witdth:  5×7 feet

weight: 200-400 pounds.

Mouth size: defies laws of physics.

Special power: Tardis mouth.

Smell: pleasant.

Taste: like chicken and moose flesh.






The basement dwelling carpet snake

by LeechMaster on February 24, 2012

This little critter lives in Oregon basements and only comes out at night and in the morning to spawn with other carpet snakes. obtained this exclusive photo from a young couple who shamelessly and foolishly used thier fingers as lures, which the carpet snake then mounted. Fun to play with, but avoid bite at all cost. Lost out to the Tunisian Ass worm for the national animal of Tunisia.

Special Powers.

  1. Hysterical laugher
  2. involuntary spooning
  3. finger snuggling

Effect of Bite:

  1. Kidney failure
  2. Increased risk of conjoined twin myslexia
  3. Seeing in quadroople
  4. Turning Tunisian






Cool Video Abour Flu Virus Attacks!!!

by LeechFinder on October 28, 2009

National Public Radio posted a cool video about how viruses invade your body. We think it’s the mutt’s nuts!


The Iraqi Moose Spider

by LeechFinder on September 23, 2009

iraqi thumb spider with thumbThe Iraqi Moose Spider (“IMS”) is a Spider that is the size of a Moose. It smells like minerals because it lives in mineral laden sands. The Iraqi Moose Spider eats goats, chickens, cows, unbelievers, and the thumbs of people that try to feed it. Scientists can tell how many Iraqui Moose Spiders live in an area by counting thumb-less inhabitants per square hectare. The Iraqi Moose Spider is an endangered species and is very rare, even more rare than the Kakapo, the giant flightless New Zealand Parrot. Many have smelled the Iraqi Moose Spider, but no in person sightings are reported because the mineral smell of the spider induces temporary blindness. Those that smell the Iraqi Moose Spider report a strong odor of minerals, then darkness, and then searing thumb pain.


Size: 8 feet tall 4 feet wied

Weight: 3,000 pands

Diet: goats, chickens, cows, unbelivers, and thumbs.

Habitat: Iraq, Kuwait.

Special Move: Temporary blindness.

Second Special Move: Eats thumbs.

Third special move: Mineral smell.


Zombie Snails

by LeechMaster on September 16, 2009

Leechhunter came across this YouTube video about Zombie Snails. We LOVE a story about snails infected with parasites that turn the snails into zombies to serve the parasite’s reproductive desires.

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The Oki Usagi

by LeechFinderSeptember 8, 2009 Creature Information

The Oki Usagi is a giant bunny rabbit of disputed origin. some think The Oki Usagi is from japan, while others believe it to be the result of a British genetic experiment gone wrong. The Oki Usagi smells terrible, and when it hunts at night, it screams its own name, sending children running. There was a […]

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The Long Tongued Flytrap

by LeechFinderSeptember 7, 2009 Creature Information

The Long Tongued Flytrap lives on  jungle islands in the Caribbean. It has a 8 foot long Tongued to wrap around an unsuspecting hikers leg. It gives off a thick odor created by the fly and goat nutrients. The Long Tongued Fly Trap competes with the Chupacabra for territory. STATS: Height: 3 feet tall, 6 inches wide, and has […]

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